@13 hours ago with 752457 notes
If my jokes offend you:
- I’m sorry
- It won’t happen again
- 1 & 2 are lies
- You’re a pussy
In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
- Public speaking
- Not being afraid of teenagers
- Calling the doctor yourself
- Arguing without crying
- Having a normal sleep pattern
- Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’
(via donuht)@1 day ago with 680073 notes
1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.
2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.
3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.
4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.
5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life." @2 days ago with 334669 notes
do you ever have those days where you feel like getting ready for no reason and clean your room and eat healthy because i don’t
(via onedirection-otter)@2 days ago with 64076 notes
raise your hand if you have so many ideas that you’re not talented enough for
(via donuht)@13 hours ago with 625887 notes
The difference between period pains and getting kicked in the balls is that one is a compulsory monthly event, and the other one is probably because you were being a dick.
(via donuht)@2 days ago with 176584 notes